Use The Force: Jungle Juice, A College Staple

Almost every fraternity has its own signature jungle juice recipe – a time honored tradition of making a batch of mystery juice to supplement the beer available at parties and stretch the alcohol budget as well as give the ladies something “less nasty”  than perhaps beer to sip on. Little do most of these girls know that jungle juice has quite dubious contents as well as dubious conditions of manufacturing (possibly in a 5 gallon cooler that somebody yacked in last year, cleaned out with the garden hose).

Anyways, I ran across this recipe about two years ago from my lil bro’s girlfriend who was an Alpha Phi at UC Irvine. I don’t remember which organization makes “the force,” but let’s just say instead of using “the force”… ” the force USED me.

My personal College Experience:

I had about 10-11 cups on top of whatever I drank when I was completely blacked out within 30-45 minutes. We went clubbing that night and apparently besides taking a few more shots, I open hand slapped a black girl, field goal kicked a bottle of champagne from the upstairs VIP balcony into the crowd, purposely shoulder rammed a group of 8 girls in platform stilettos (making them all fall like lined-up dominoes), and almost got jumped by that black girl’s entourage of buff black men (but as I had my back turned, apparently security had seen the commotion and kicked THEM out of the club).

Anyway, a S.O.B. who will go nameless was instructed to drive my car to my house and drop my drunk ass off. Instead he drove to his house and left me in the car to “recover”. Since we live like 5-10 minutes away from each other, it would be okay right? Wrong. About 6-7 blocks away blacked out, I totaled my car in a bush. That’s the moment I came to, when I woke up in a wrecked car and saw the swirling sirens of the police.

What a hell of a night though! It ended off with an all-expense paid (by me) trip to the drunk tank.

But enough sad stories, all I can say is “The Force” is the most potent concoction ever devised. Nothing else hands down has destroyed me as badly, and I pass it on to you.

Directions on Making “The Force” Jungle Juice:

  • 1.75 Liters of Everclear or Cheap Plastic Bottle Vodka
  • 24 Cans of Cheap Beer
  • 4 Cans of Fruit Punch Concentrate
  • 4 Cans of Energy Drink (Redbull)

Mix it all in a big cooler and add water. Or, if you’re like one chapter of my fraternity whose location will be undisclosed – the many lovely bath tubs located within the walls of the fraternity house. If you opt to use vodka instead of Everclear, add as much vodka as you can and taste. Garnish with a roofie (jk).

Use “the force” wisely Young Jedis, and take a cab or get a designated driver!

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